To Keep
by Orpah
Summary: Cato believes he can keep Clove. He doesn't know how tragically wrong he is. Sort of Clato.


This is from Cato's point of view, just to be clear.

I don't own Hunger Games! end/AN/

From the beginning of the games, I viewed everyone else as sacks of meat I had to split open in order to win. It would be bloody, it would be gory, and it would be victory.

I had never killed before, but I had practiced since the day I could walk. Go for the jugular; hit the weak spots. Hit them with everything you have before they have the chance to strike you.

Of course, I viewed the other Careers slightly differently; they were useful. Yes, they were going to die squealing like pigs if I got my way, but for the beginning, it was us against the useless runts sent from the other districts.

Clove knew that better than anybody; I could see her sharp little eyes taking us all in, cataloguing our weaknesses. I knew not to underestimate her; we weren't in the same year, but she was already known for her deadly aim and wicked streak.

I wasn't afraid, not of anyone. I was the top in my year, in the whole academy. I volunteered to be here, because I knew I could win. I'm eighteen now; what would life be like if I just left the academy, didn't get to be in the Hunger Games, faded into obscurity and the hard life as a stonecutter?

No. I wasn't meant to throw my life away. I knew it from the second I held a sword in my hands; I was meant for a pedestal.

So, when things began to turn against us, when first Glimmer and the other girl died from the tracker jackers and then we lost our supplies, I could feel my pedestal slipping out from under me. I could feel my life turning into a waste.

I'm not a cold, detached person. That's for those masterminds who plot like spiders in a web. This game became personal from the moment my life was threatened by the crazy girl from 12. It wasn't just that I had to win; it was that I had to make her lose, and in a horrible, painful way.

When Marvel was gone, it was just Clove and me. We faced each other like starving hawks, each one wondering when the other would stop needing an alliance. Her dark eyes were narrowed, as though our lack of food and shelter was a problem I had caused.

But we needed each other, so we stayed in the forest, on edge and on guard for the 12 girl and Thresh.

It was only when the announcement that both tributes from a district could win that the ice broke. Clove's face slowly broke into a reassured, desperately hopeful smile. Her eyes flashed over towards me, to see how I was reacting, and I must have looked just as hopeful, because she shifted to sit next to me.

"If they're saying that, then the 12 boy must be alive. But with the way you got him, he can't be any help! All we have to do is take out the 12 girl and Thresh, and the rest will be easy pickings," she breathed excitedly, eyes darkly flashing.

I must have had a grin on my face. Think of the glory! Think of the added power we had, with an alliance that never needed to be broken! We had the best shot of anyone in the game; neither of us were seriously wounded, and there were two of us. "The 12 girl first."

I didn't say outright that I hated her, but Clove seemed to instantly understand, because she nodded. "Yes. Her first."

It still wasn't easy; we didn't know what to eat. We'd been carefully testing out some plants, but never more than a nibble at a time. That was Clove's idea; we also tried rubbing them on our skin to see if they'd get a reaction.

Clove had caught some small animals with her knives, and we'd had to eat them raw, since we had nothing to start a fire with.

I'd known there were some things I was going to have to stomach in order to win the Hunger Games; I hadn't counted on actual hunger.

So far, a couple of plants seemed safe, and so we'd been picking and eating it like we were rabbits or some other stupid animal like that. We'd been staying under a huge tree, tucked into a curve in its trunk. We took turns watching at night, and we were both tired and hungry.

It was late one night that I sat up, looking around the bend in the tree. The air was chilly, and we hadn't been carrying any of our shelter supplies when everything had been blown up. The moon was full, though, whether or not that was the real moon was anyone's guess.

It let a lot of light down into our space. Clove looked blue in the light, and I probably did too.

A full body shiver went through her, and she abruptly sat up, saying miserably, "I can't sleep. It's too cold!"

I hated that 12 girl, because I was just as cold, and we wouldn't have to be if it weren't for her. But I held out an arm from where I was sitting; Clove was my ally, and she was almost as important to keep alive as I was.

She looked at my arm for second, jaw seeming to move in the moonlight. Then she quickly took the spot, chilly, skinny body pressed against mine like she wanted to leach all the heat away.

She made me think of my sister.

My sister Amata led a meaningless life; she grew to about thirteen, and then she started to get stomach pains. It got progressively worse, to the point that she had to drop out of the academy. Her stomach got hugely swollen, but we were just stonecutters, and we couldn't have anything done about it.

When we did finally scrape together the money to get her into the hospital, it was too late. She had a tumor, and it was too big, too intricately attached, to take out. She died, in a painful way. Her life was a waste, because we didn't have the money. Because we didn't have the status.

I held Clove tightly. We would both achieve that status; our lives wouldn't be a waste. She looked at me for a moment, eyebrows creased, before simply leaning against me.

She was warm against my side, already falling into sleep. Our jackets made very slight rustling noises as we breathed.

I licked my cold lips, and let out a breath. She was so small, just like Amata. It was strange, holding a body so close; it wasn't something I was used to at all. I'd wrestled and fought with many of my classmates, but hold them like a child? Never.

I stayed that way, stiff until I woke her up to keep watch. She set to it with hawk eyes, watching the night-hidden forest.

I slept, but only from exhaustion.

The next morning, we scrounged some of the plants that we'd decided were safe enough to eat.

I don't know how it happened, but we must have picked something wrong, because Clove let out a shrill, choked off noise, like she was trying desperately to be quiet, but couldn't. Then she promptly threw up.

I did the only thing I could think to do; I held her hair out of the way. Somewhat hesitantly, I also put my hand on her back, rubbing up and down; I'd done that for my sister.

Amata had thrown up a lot, until the point where she couldn't eat anymore and she shriveled away.

Clove didn't have much to throw up, and was done pretty quickly, though she remained on all fours and breathing heavily for a few moments, before she dry heaved, first once, then a second time.

It made me angry at the 12 girl; we should have food. We shouldn't be scrounging for leaves and risking our lives just to eat.

Clove got up abruptly, kicking leaves over the vomit. Her jaw was clenched, and she glared hatefully about her, as if it were the whole forest's fault.

But she kept all the hate inside; we were on camera, for the world to see. We couldn't break down and cry; we couldn't explode in screaming rage.

Although, I had already done that. I regretted it; I feared that the outburst was the reason we hadn't gotten any help from sponsors.

I didn't say anything either; instead, I started viciously ripping up more plants, this time careful that they looked like the first ones that had been all right. After about a minute of furious pacing, she joined me. Her hands shook just slightly. Throwing up could sometimes do that.

She'd eaten again after that. She didn't throw up this time.

When the announcement came over the trees that we had the chance to get what we needed, we both locked eyes. Whether it was food, or armor, we had to have it.

"I'll go in; you'll watch from the trees," Clove said, picking at a large leaf in her hand.

I protested. "I'm bigger than you are, and stronger; I should be the one to go in."

Clove's dark eyes flashed up at me, as she ripped the leaf viciously. "The 12 girl will be there. I'm ranged, you're not, I've got a better chance of beating her."

Again, the fact that she wanted her dead was left out of the conversation; but I could practically feeling the killing intent radiating off of her.

I grinned. Even if I didn't kill Katniss Everdeen, it would be satisfying to see her die. And Clove's attitude was contagious. "Fine. You can have her. I'll kill the 12 boy when we find him."

And so it was decided.

As we sat under the sky, only narrowly peeking through the branches of the tree, Clove curled up against me, I couldn't help but come to the realization: I could keep Clove. I _wanted_ to keep Clove.

And I could see it already; living in the Victors' Village, training together, taking up some hobby together, seeing the Capitol and all it had to offer. It was all stretched out before me, her small hand clasped in mine. Just like Amata's had been until the day she died.

I allowed myself a smile. All we had to do was get what we needed, and we would be all right.

She said nothing as we prepared the next day. She checked all her knives, and I could feel the thrum of excitement coming from her. Or maybe it was coming from me; I couldn't say.

This was deadly dangerous, but it was finally a situation where our strengths would be at play. We were the fighters, taught from birth; we were the ones who had been bred and taught and expected to win.

I didn't know why I did it at the time, but I tucked my hand on her shoulder before she headed out. She looked back at me, almost questioningly, before her face seemed to smooth out in acceptance, and she patted my hand with hers. "It'll take me ten minutes. Any more, and I'll let you have the 12 girl."

I nodded. I took my station, hidden in the trees.

And that was where I saw the carnage unfold.

I ran, but I'd stationed myself too far away; Clove was crumpled on the ground by the time I got there, 12 already running away.

I begged her to stay with me, but a bit of breath bubbled out of her mouth, and then she laid still. The blood spread behind her head, my hands were stained with it. Never had blood felt like such an acid, such a horrible thing that should never touch my skin.

I screamed, throwing my fists against the earth. Despair rose inside me, but was quickly replaced with roaring anger. Thresh must die.

I took off after him, ignoring the stinging in my eyes, beast raging inside of me.

I couldn't have her after all.

/AN/ I hope this was okay… It's the first thing of decent length I've written for Hunger Games, and I was really nervous about it. And I know it's not usually first person that's done in fanfiction, but I hope you were able to put up with it; it was how the book itself was done, after all.


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